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The current period signifies a full decade since the phrase “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet act.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {